Doing With, Not For: How Small Actions Can Create Meaningful Moments for People with Alzheimer’s Disease

Alzheimer’s disease, the most common type of dementia, often strips away an individual’s cognitive abilities, leading to a gradual loss of independence. While caregiving is an essential role, it’s equally important to help the person living with Alzheimer’s disease maintain a sense of purpose and dignity.

By finding creative ways to involve them in everyday tasks, you not only create meaningful moments, but you may also lighten the caregiving load. Remember, a little involvement goes a long way in preserving their humanity and preventing feelings of loneliness and boredom.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing everything for someone living with Alzheimer’s disease. After all, it’s quicker and sometimes less frustrating to complete a task yourself. However, imagine being the person who is no longer able to do things independently. It’s a vulnerable and helpless feeling to be the recipient of constant care—having tasks done for you rather than with you.

People with Alzheimer’s, just like anyone else, want to feel useful and valued. By encouraging them to participate in even the smallest of tasks, you provide them with the opportunity to contribute, which enhances their sense of purpose and pride.

By “dismissing,” or ignoring them or asking them to leave, or sit down, we can inadvertently trigger agitation or isolation. If they show interest in helping out, take these moments as opportunities to support them to remain involved in the rhythm of daily life, which can do wonders for their emotional and mental well-being.

By asking questions, encouraging involvement, and accepting imperfect results, caregivers can foster an environment where the individual’s abilities are respected, and their dignity is maintained.

As caregivers, it’s easy to focus on the physical tasks that need to be completed. However, the emotional and psychological toll of Alzheimer’s on the person receiving care is often overlooked.

Imagine if the roles were reversed. Imagine if you were no longer able to perform the simplest tasks. You might feel isolated, disempowered, as though you’ve lost your place in the world.

The reality is that people with Alzheimer’s disease often experience profound loneliness as well as low self worth.

As their cognitive abilities decline, they may not always be able to express their feelings, but the impact of boredom and isolation is felt deeply. Helping them stay engaged in even small ways can combat these feelings.

Rather than doing everything for them, find ways to do things together. Ask them to help with simple tasks, even if they need reminders. It can be as simple as sorting colours for laundry, laying out napkins on the table or even clearing the table. The act of doing something together conveys respect and helps the person maintain a sense of autonomy, even in a small way.

Lightening Your Load as a Caregiver

Involving the person with Alzheimer’s in activities doesn’t just benefit them—it can lighten your load as a caregiver.

When they participate, it can give you a moment to take a breath, recharge, and focus on other tasks. It can be emotionally draining to constantly do everything for someone. Sharing small responsibilities not only fosters a sense of purpose in the person you’re caring for, but it also provides you with a sense of relief, knowing that you are working together as a team. For example asking for their help to dust or sweep.

Keeping them busy by allowing them to do certain tasks independently makes them happy and gives you a “break” from talking or trying to figure out how to engage with your loved one. If need be, ask others for ideas on what tasks you can try.

If they are still able, let them help. Connection NOT perfection.

It’s important to acknowledge and share your own emotions rather than suppress them. This process of emotional honesty not only helps you navigate the challenges of caregiving but also ensures that you can provide the best possible care.

It’s easy to feel guilty for experiencing frustration or sadness when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, but these emotions are completely normal and part of the human experience. The unpredictable nature of the disease, along with the sense of loss as you watch your loved one decline, can be overwhelming.

Acknowledging your emotions also opens the door to seeking support when needed. Talking to a trusted friend, counsellor, or fellow caregiver can help relieve some of the emotional pressure you may feel. Joining a caregiver support group, whether in person or online, can provide a safe space where you can share your experiences, learn from others, and receive encouragement.

Emotional self-care is just as important as physical self-care.

To summarize, by fostering meaningful interactions, respecting the autonomy of those with Alzheimer’s, and acknowledging your own feelings, you can create a compassionate environment that benefits both you and the person in your care, while also lightening the emotional load you carry.