Join Justin Chipperfield (Registered Physiotherapist) and Gilmore Gardens Retirement Residence for an informative and interactive virtual presentation through Zoom on Falls Prevention on Wednesday, October 13th at 1:30pm.
Learn more about the facts on falls, home safety tips, and your best defence for preventing a fall. There will be time to ask Justin questions at the end of the presentation.
Please RSVP by October 10th to receive a Zoom link invite.
How to Plan and Prepare as Your Parents Transition into Retirement Living
Written by Deborah Bakti
The day my mom Carol moved into Independent Retirement Living I felt a combination of excitement, relief, anxiety, and grief. This was a necessary move to pre-empt a potential crisis, like her falling or forgetting to take all her medications. These are the risks that show up for all of us as our parents age and deal with health issues.
My mom was in average health. She’d had a couple strokes 15 years previously and spent years as my dad’s caregiver while his health declined with Parkinson’s and Lewy Body Dementia before he passed away.
Here she was in her early 80’s, living alone and not acknowledging, or perhaps just ignoring the quiet signs of frailty creeping in. I didn’t blame her; I might ignore the signs too. But she was starting to eat less and forget more. We needed to help her see the risks of her living alone, and gently present other options that would be safer and more comfortable for her. Not to mention, options that would also provide us with much-needed peace of mind.
This is a common conundrum for all of us grown kids that want to help guide our parents and do what’s best for them as they grapple with the challenges of aging. Sometimes we tend to make these decisions, either with or for our parents, from a tactical and strategic perspective. We feel we need to manage their aging, and physical and cognitive changes to keep them safe and comfortable.
What typically isn’t talked about is the emotional impact of this lifestyle adjustment, especially if you are the driving force to make this change happen. It’s not uncommon for families to feel the myriad of emotions from excitement to anxiety, from relief to guilt, and even grief. These changes can represent both loss and freedom simultaneously. It’s important to understand what’s occurring emotionally for you, so you can embrace this new life phase with your parents, as well as be the best kind of support as they transition into their new lifestyle in retirement living.
Here are 3 questions that can help create more clarity and comfort.
1. What does success look like to you?
Think ahead six months from now, and imagine you’re telling a friend or co-worker about how ecstatic you are with your parent’s new retirement living home. What needs to be in place for you to rave about it? How are you feeling when you go there to visit? What are your relationships like with the care team members? What do you appreciate the most?
Now share this vision of success with the General Manager (or whoever you’re connected with.) Every family defines success differently, and by sharing what matters to you (and to your parents), enables them to better meet your specific expectations so that disappointment and frustration are avoided.
2. What are your expectations? Are they realistic?
You are now a customer, and it’s important to understand if there’s a gap between what you expect going in, and the reality of retirement living.
It’s common to have expectations based on assumptions or preconceptions, particularly if this is your first experience with a family member moving into retirement living. We often rely on what we read in the news or hear from other people to shape our expectations.
Disappointment usually arises when expectations and reality don’t line up. To avoid this, clarifying and adjusting expectations is key. Use this as an opportunity to share your perceptions and expectations so that you minimize misunderstandings that could derail relationships with those providing the care in the home.
3. What is your biggest concern right now?
The decision to move your parent(s) into retirement living is typically triggered by a health concern or crisis. You realize a need to remove risks and to provide a more safe, secure environment. You know what circumstances need to be avoided, but the new environment isn’t as clear, because it’s new and unknown.
My biggest concern was for my mom’s social and mental health. I wanted her to be in a place where she would make new friends. She was introverted and liked her quiet time, and I was worried that she would feel lonely and isolated. By sharing that, the staff were extra helpful with finding the best table for lunch and dinner and they went to great lengths to introduce her to residents who loved welcoming “the newbies.”
Sharing your answers to these questions is a proactive way to build a relationship with your parents’ care team. These conversations can help build partnerships founded in trust and respect which is key to a successful experience in retirement living.
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Deborah is a Seniors’ Care consultant, coach, speaker and trainer, through her company THINK Breakthrough Inc. She has helps care team members and residents’ families create better connections through empathy and a relational approach.
She’s the author of RECIPE for Empathy: Six Strategies to Transform your Families into Fans in Seniors’ Care, and her latest book Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families, and host of the podcast “Seniors’ Care Matters”
Deborah not only worked as a corporate executive in seniors’ care 11 years, but she also lived the experience as a resident’s family member three times, with her dad, mom and husband.
We find ourselves, incredibly, in the middle of a fourth wave of the COVID-19 pandemic.
I have recently been visiting our residences, meeting with our teams to discuss the ongoing challenges they face, but also to say “Thank you” for their remarkable perseverance through these tumultuous times. I am very proud of their resiliency and never cease to be impressed with team member dedication to ensure our residents are well, feel secure, happy, cared for, and supported. My visits have also provided the opportunity to connect with residents and I continue to be impressed with their positivity and resiliency. They have faced many challenges over the course of their lives and once again, they have risen to the occasion.
We are so pleased with the impressively high vaccination levels already achieved by our team members. In addition to our efforts to date to achieve these high levels of vaccination, we have implemented a mandatory vaccination policy to ensure that all team members will be fully vaccinated no later than October 31st. We remain committed to providing safe, healthy residences that promote social connection and mind-body wellbeing amongst our communities. The wellbeing and safety of our residents and team members remains our primary focus. We continue to closely monitor the health of our residents and team members.
To our team, our residents, and their loved ones, we “Thank you” once again for your resilience, positivity, and support. We look forward to the near future when we can enjoy our time together without the need for the additional protective measures.
David Bird
President and CEO
Diversicare Canada
Join Lake Bonavista Village Retirement Residence and Lianne Harris for a Royal Scandals virtual event on Thursday, September 9th, 2021! Tiptoe around the European courts for 1-hour and uncover those true scandals that really did change history.
Please call 403-258-1849 to RSVP
Come and join us at White Cliffe Terrace Retirement Residence for our Fall Apple Festival – September 12th at 2pm. Please join us for a fun filled afternoon of games and entertainment for seniors 65 and older. Light refreshments will be served.
To RSVP call 905-579-0800 (ext. 225). Space is limited!
Hazelton Place Retirement Residence welcomes Canadian, Julie Fitzgerald, an accomplished award winner of step dancing along with her accompaniment, a fiddler. Join us on Tuesday, September 14th, 2021 for a concert that will keep your toes tapping!
Please RSVP by calling 416-928-0111
*Restricted and special seating arrangements for social distancing will take place during this concert
Join the Museum of Vancouver and Gilmore Gardens Retirement Residence on a virtual tour of Vancouver’s History Galleries from the comforts of your own home! Connect via Zoom as we “stroll” through our 360 degree virtual galleries via screen sharing, with opportunities for questions, discussions, and perhaps a few rekindled childhood memories!
To RSVP please call 604-271-7222 by September 13th, 2021
Have you got questions about what it is like to live in today’s sophisticated senior living residences? Are you at all concerned about making a move? Or, wondering what it costs?
Join The Shores of Port Credit for a live presentation on Tuesday, September 21st, 2021 to ask your questions and have Lifestyle Consultants help you get some answers.
Contact us today at info.theshores@verveseniorliving.com or call 905-812-5280 to book your spot!
Join Richmond Hill Retirement Residence for their upcoming August virtual events! Contact Melanie or Samra to sign up: 905-770-4704
Drawing from our hidden heritage, women from the past have been our inspiration and our guidepost. In this presentation, Lianne Harris explores the fascinating lives and contributions of the past’s most inspiring women. Some we might have heard about, others less so. Find out about women who were intelligent, creative, compassionate and just plain daring! We are because they were! A great way for everyone to familiarize themselves with a piece of the forgotten past!
Call Lake Bonavista Village Retirement Residence to RSVP 403-258-1849
