People living with dementia may experience many changes, but as caregivers, it’s important to remember they are doing their best to navigate life with a changed brain.
What we often label as “behaviour changes” are actually forms of communication. At Dementia Solutions, we believe every behaviour has meaning. Restlessness may signal discomfort. Agitation can point to unmet needs or a lack of reassurance. Recognizing these cues helps us respond with greater understanding and compassion.
Unfortunately, even well-intentioned caregivers can fall into common misconceptions about dementia behaviours. These outdated beliefs can limit our ability to truly see the person behind the diagnosis. By challenging these fallacies, we can create a more compassionate, informed approach that improves quality of life for both the person with dementia and their caregivers.
Here are three common fallacies we often encounter:
Fallacy #1: Dementia equals aggression and medication is the only solution.
Fact: Behaviour changes are often responses to something specific, not random aggression. Medication may mask symptoms but often doesn’t address the root cause.
For example, if a person resists personal care, it might be because they feel vulnerable, confused, or fearful in that moment, not because they want to be aggressive. Instead of relying solely on medication, consider non-drug approaches such as:
● Identifying and removing triggers
● Offering reassurance or validation
● Communicating clearly and calmly
● Redirecting attention to an enjoyable activity
● Adjusting the care environment to feel more safe and familiar
These strategies can be as effective and sometimes more effective than medication in reducing distress.
Fallacy #2: Caregivers should always tell the truth, no matter what.
Fact: In moderate to later stages of dementia, the truth may cause unnecessary distress and confusion.
For example, telling someone their parents passed away decades ago may only create repeated moments of grief. Instead, we recommend using Therapeutic Reasoning™ — offering responses that prioritise reassurance and emotional well-being. For example: “Yes, they’re doing well. You’re such a caring daughter. Would you like to help me fold these towels?” This approach shifts the focus to comfort, not painful reality, helping the person feel safe and calm.
Fallacy #3: It’s okay to treat someone with dementia like a child.
Fact: Dementia affects memory and thinking, but it does not erase a person’s identity, history, or need for dignity.
Even if someone struggles to communicate, remember that they have a lifetime of experiences that shaped who they are. Respecting autonomy such as involving them in decisions when possible and speaking to them as adults, preserves their self-worth and emotional well-being.
A Hopeful Path Forward
Education is the most powerful tool we have in dementia care. The more we understand the meaning behind behaviours, the more we can respond in ways that reduce distress, foster trust, and prevent caregiver burnout.
Caring for someone with dementia is rarely easy, but by staying informed, using compassionate strategies, and seeking support, you can navigate the journey with more confidence, strength, and grace while preserving the dignity of the person you care for.
Karen Tyrell CPCA, CDCP is a Dementia Consultant, Educator, Author & Advocate, and Founder of Personalized Dementia Solutions Inc. (www.DementiaSolutions.ca). Karen offers her expertise on dementia care through speaking engagements; workshops; support groups (both online and in-person) and by working one-on-one with families/caregivers to provide emotional support and practical solutions. She was also on the design team for The Village Langley (Verve Senior Living) and provides ongoing education to the Village team, families and the community. If you would like to learn more, please feel free to reach out.
DISCLAIMER:
The contents of this blog are provided for information purposes only. They are not intended to replace clinical diagnosis or medical advice from a health professional.
