While traditions can offer comfort, holiday traditions and celebrations can also feel overwhelming. To create a meaningful holiday experience without overextending yourself or agitating your loved one, simplicity and mindfulness are key.
Understanding Your Loved One’s Cognitive Status
When planning holiday events, take cues from your loved one’s current behaviours and preferences. While they may have once enjoyed large gatherings or elaborate traditions, their needs and preferences may have shifted.
Changes in cognitive function can make it difficult for someone with dementia to process loud noises, large crowds, or unfamiliar environments, potentially leading to anxiety or agitation. Creating a space where your loved one feels safe and relaxed allows them to engage positively with others and enjoy the experience without feeling overwhelmed. (University of California, San Francisco, n.d.)
For example, they might enjoy a quiet meal with soft holiday music rather than a bustling party. Flexibility and sensitivity to their mood are essential. The goal is not to recreate past holidays but to honour the present moment, making it as meaningful and enjoyable as possible for both of you. Adapting traditions to fit their cognitive abilities fosters a sense of inclusion and connection, which are the true gifts of the season.
Physically and Cognitively Stimulating Holiday Activities
A great holiday activity that combines physical movement and cognitive stimulation is decorating together. Engaging your loved one in tasks like hanging ornaments, setting the table, or arranging holiday centerpieces can provide light physical activity while also encouraging focus and creativity.
Activities that engage the senses, such as smelling holiday spices can create meaningful moments without causing confusion or distress. Simple rituals like baking and decorating holiday cookies with kids and grandkids, listening to holiday music, or flipping through photo albums can bring joy and spark memories. Music from their younger years is especially powerful in evoking positive emotions.
Timing and Preparing Your Loved Ones for the Holiday Gatherings
People with dementia often thrive on routine, and any changes to their routine and environment can cause confusion or stress.
For loved ones living in Long-term care (LTC) homes, it’s important to communicate with the staff about their specific holiday plans and find out what activities will be offered. This gives you the chance to prepare your loved one for the events and help them feel more comfortable.
Some individuals with dementia may not recognize the significance of the holiday, and large group celebrations or unfamiliar faces may lead to anxiety. If this is the case, consider visiting during quieter times, when your loved one can enjoy the season with fewer distractions.
Another helpful strategy is to gently remind your loved one about the upcoming celebration, keeping the information simple and calm. Placing a sign or calendar reminder in your loved one’s room can help them anticipate and prepare for the care home’s holiday activities, such as a Christmas party, dinner, live music, or a visit from Santa Claus. Visual cues can provide a sense of structure and reduce anxiety by giving them a clear understanding of what to expect.
Have a “Plan B” for Public Gatherings
When your “Plan A” is attending a public holiday event, it’s wise to have a Plan B ready in case the outing becomes too overwhelming for your loved one with dementia.
If the noise, crowds, or unfamiliar environment proves challenging, be prepared to have an alternative venue where it is quieter or a more familiar setting. This might mean being prepared for an intimate gathering at home or taking a scenic drive.
A flexible backup plan ensures that the day remains enjoyable for your loved one while reducing stress for everyone involved. Careful preparation helps keep the focus on what truly matters—togetherness and joy during the holidays.
Educating Family and Friends
Preparing family and friends before gatherings can make a significant difference. Educate them about your loved one’s condition and how to interact in a patient, supportive way. Setting realistic expectations helps ensure that conversations and interactions are calm and positive. Remind visitors to avoid asking memory-dependent questions, which can lead to frustration. Instead, encourage them to share stories or bring familiar objects to discuss with the person with dementia.
Meaningful Gift Ideas for Your Loved One
Gift-giving for a loved one living with dementia can be thoughtfully adapted to suit their changing needs.
Avoid complex gadgets or items that require cognitive effort.
Similarly, it’s important to be cautious about leaving treats or sugary snacks for them. While it may seem like a festive gesture, these foods can pose several risks. For example, there is a higher risk of choking, particularly if the person has difficulty swallowing or chewing. Additionally, sugary foods can lead to a sugar rush, causing irritability or agitation, and in some cases, contribute to a crash in energy levels. Excessive amounts of sweet treats can also lead to overindulgence, which may affect their digestion or blood sugar levels, further complicating health issues. It’s best to offer smaller, healthier portions in a way that maintains the festive spirit without creating potential discomfort or stress for your loved one.
Practical and comforting gifts, such as soft blankets, warm clothing, pajamas, socks, slippers, or personalized photo books, can provide both physical warmth and emotional comfort. These items not only meet basic needs but also offer familiarity, which can be soothing for someone with dementia.
When choosing new clothing or items, it can be helpful to consult with the care home staff for suggestions on what would be most beneficial for your loved one’s current needs.
Additionally, involve your loved one in the process by helping them sort through their clothing, removing items that no longer fit, and letting go of old blankets. You can make this a meaningful activity by explaining that these items will be donated to a shelter, fostering a sense of purpose and helping them feel connected to others. This simple act of giving back can promote a sense of accomplishment and bring added joy to the season.
What Matters Most
As a caregiver, managing your own expectations is crucial. The pressure to create a picture-perfect holiday can lead to unnecessary stress. Instead, focus on the moments of connection that truly matter. It’s okay if things don’t go as planned. What’s most important is the time spent together and the memories made.
When it comes to the holidays, the most meaningful moments don’t always stem from the number of gifts exchanged or the extravagance of decorations. What truly matters is the quality of time spent together and the connections that are made, even if they seem small. For those living with dementia, the holiday season may look different from what it once was, but the feelings of love, comfort, and belonging can still shine through. Rather than focusing on perfection or grand celebrations, consider the moments of warmth and togetherness that create lasting memories.
Karen Tyrell CPCA, CDCP is a Dementia Consultant, Educator, Author & Advocate, and Founder of Personalized Dementia Solutions Inc. (www.DementiaSolutions.ca). Karen offers her expertise on dementia care through speaking engagements; workshops; support groups (both online and in-person) and by working one-on-one with families/caregivers to provide emotional support and practical solutions. She was also on the design team for The Village Langley (Verve Senior Living) and provides ongoing education to the Village team, families and the community. If you would like to learn more, please feel free to reach out.
DISCLAIMER:
The contents of this blog are provided for information purposes only. They are not intended to replace clinical diagnosis or medical advice from a health professional.
