When the Journey Nears the End: Recognizing the Signs and Finding Peace in the Moment 

Caring for someone living with dementia is a journey that invites deep love, compassion, and presence. Like all journeys, it eventually reaches its final chapter. Death is a natural part of life—a path we will all walk one day. When we begin to acknowledge and prepare for this inevitable stage, we open the door to making it a more meaningful, peaceful, and even beautiful experience—not just for our loved one, but also for ourselves, for their caregivers, and for other family members, including children, who may be part of those sacred final moments.

Rather than fearing the end, we can choose to embrace it with tenderness and intention. By understanding the signs that may indicate a person is nearing the end of life, we allow ourselves the opportunity to be fully present. We can respond with calm, love, and reassurance, ensuring our loved one is surrounded by comfort and dignity in their final days.

Let’s explore these signs—not to cause worry, but to bring clarity and courage. With this knowledge, we can create a space where goodbyes are softened by love, and where final memories are filled with peace.

As hard as it is to think about, having a general sense of the end-of-life timeline can help us prepare—not just logistically, but emotionally and spiritually too. Although every person’s journey is different, here’s a simple way to understand the general stages, keeping in mind that changes may unfold gradually or more suddenly, and not everyone will experience every sign.

You might notice your loved one becoming more tired than usual. They may start withdrawing from conversations, activities, or things they used to enjoy. This isn’t about giving up—it’s more like the body and mind quietly beginning to slow down. Moments of connection may still happen, but they might be fewer and shorter.

Appetite often fades, and food may no longer bring pleasure or even seem necessary. Sleep becomes deeper and more frequent, and it may become harder to wake them. You may also notice them being a little more confused or detached. These changes are part of the body’s natural process of letting go.

This is often when changes become more visible. Breathing may sound different—sometimes with pauses, or a rhythmic pattern called Cheyne-Stokes breathing. Their hands and feet might feel cooler, or appear slightly bluish or mottled. They may produce less urine, and they may no longer respond when spoken to.

These signs can feel scary or heartbreaking, especially if you’re seeing them for the first time. But knowing what to expect can ease some of the uncertainty. More importantly, it gives you the chance to create a calm, loving space, where your presence becomes the greatest gift.

While these signs and patterns are helpful to understand, no one can predict the exact timing or experience. Some people may show all these signs, while others may show very few. That’s why staying in close touch with your healthcare team, palliative care provider or even an End of Life Doula is so important. They can guide you, support you, and help ensure your loved one is as comfortable as possible—every step of the way.

When your loved one is living in a care home and nearing the end of life, it can feel overwhelming to know what to do—or what to expect. Here are a few things you might consider:

You may wish to bring in a special outfit that your loved one would have appreciated—something soft, comfortable, or meaningful. Some families also bring in a cherished blanket, a favourite scarf, or photos that help personalise the space and bring a sense of comfort and familiarity.

Speak with the care team about who should be notified and when, as your loved one enters the final stages. If you wish to be present—or would like certain family members or close friends to be there—it’s important to express those wishes ahead of time. Many care homes have family rooms or quiet spaces where loved ones can stay, rest, and even sleep while keeping vigil during those final moments.

If your loved one practiced a particular faith, this is the time to consider who might be contacted. Whether it’s a priest, minister, rabbi, imam, elder, or spiritual guide, having someone who can offer prayers or rituals in accordance with your loved one’s beliefs and wishes can be deeply comforting. Even if your loved one was not religious, some families find peace in creating their own quiet rituals—soft music, a hand to hold, a candle lit in silence.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Let the team know what’s important to you—whether it’s having time alone, playing your loved one’s favourite music, or simply being notified of changes as they happen. The more they know your and your loved one’s wishes, the better they can support you.

Taking these small but meaningful steps allows you to honour your loved one’s life and legacy in a way that feels right for your family. Even in a care home setting, there’s room for intimacy, reverence, and love. Let this be a time of connection, not just with your loved one, but with each other.

As you walk this sacred part of the journey, remember—you are not alone. There is support and understanding around you, even in the quietest moments. And while saying goodbye is never easy, know that your loved one’s presence doesn’t end with their final breath. They live on in the stories you share, the traditions you carry forward, and the way they made you feel. Those memories—engraved with love, laughter, and even the struggles—will forever shape your heart. So make the most of every moment while they are still here.