Vicki Edney, a Newmarket resident at The Roxborough Retirement Residence with an eye for adventure, used her latest thrill as an opportunity to raise money for the Toronto Star’s Fresh Air Fund.

As we headed south on the 404 the clouds cleared and the sun came out. It was a beautiful day in every way. We parked across the road from the tower (at a cost of $30.00) and met a Star photographer Andrew at the entrance around 9:30am. He took some pictures in front of the CN Tower sign. When we reached the third floor Alex, a Star reporter was waiting to interview us. My son Bob, daughter Barbara, daughter in-law Carol and her son John and I made up our group. Only Carol, John and I were doing the edge walk.

We watched the 10 O’clock group finish getting ready. As they left for the elevator from one door the eight of us went into the change room by another door to get prepared. The first thing they did was give each of us a breathalyzer test. Then we had to remove watches, rings, earrings, and pins, necklaces and even bobby pins and Kleenex. We had to spit out our gum. They had these reddish orange suits in every size John is 6’ 5’’ tall and I am 5’ 1’’ but our suits fit perfectly. The other five in our group were three girls and two men (all under 30.) Two people checked that our suits were on correctly and four People checked that our harnesses were properly fitted. We were told ahead of time to wear running shoes with laces no Velcro. Promptly at 10:30 we marched into the elevator as the next group entered the fitting room. The elevator took us up above the restaurant at a speed of 26 KPH. It took about one minute. We were at a door facing south. Each of us were clicked on back and front to a track that went all the way around the tower. More people checked that our harnesses were done up correctly. They even put plastic seals on the clips so that we could not possibly undo them. Nobody could commit suicide by jumping off because the rope worked like a seat belt and tightened even if you tripped accidentally.

Carol went first, I followed with John next, then the three girls and two fellows. The girl who went out with us on another track, was wonderful. She called each of us by name and told us what to look for in each direction. The one-minute ferry ride to Billy Bishop airport, the islands, sailboats and marinas were interesting. She chatted the whole time. We were supposed to wave at every camera (there was at least four that I saw.) The Royal York Hotel was almost lost amid all the apartments and office buildings. The colours are amazing. Some places have blue glass, others green and gold we could even see Etobicoke and Mississauga, High Park and trees everywhere. Some apartments had pools on the roof. We half sat facing the tower, inched back toward the edge one by one until all eight of us were on our toes, then we straightened up and leaned back, holding on to the rope for dear life while she took our picture. As we got to the windy north side she did the same, only individually this time. We were right over the Rogers Center with the roof open as we were ready to reenter the tower. It was over too soon.

As we went into the fitting room to remove our harnesses and suits and collect our Jewellery the 11 o’clock shift was entering the elevator. The 11:30 group was entering by the other door. Our pictures and video were ready at the desk for each of us to treasure.

I might try rock climbing next. I hear it’s pretty safe too. Of course, there is always sky diving!

Read the article in The Toronto Star (dated July 14, 2017 by Alex McKeen, Staff Reporter)

Gail Wilson had to make one of the most difficult decisions of her life. Her 88-year-old mother–a sharp, independent woman who had lived alone in Ontario for most of the latter part of her life–was quickly growing frail. While she used to walk from her home to the neighborhood bakery with ease, navigating the stairs of her apartment building had become a daily battle. “She couldn’t walk very well,” remembers Wilson. “And her emphysema had worsened.”

Gail knew the discussion she needed to have with her mother, yet like many adult children who were thinking of moving elderly parents, the three words “leave your home” seemed foreign, cold and impossible to utter.

When Time is of the Essence

A few months passed, and Gail got a disturbing call. Her mother had suffered a mild heart attack and had been taken to the hospital. Gail used the opportunity to share her concerns with her mother. But when the subject came to moving her mother away from her home, she was met with sharp resistance. “No,” said her mother firmly. “I’m not moving.”

Those can be the most difficult words a concerned child may hear their elderly parent say. So how does a worried family member convince a recalcitrant parent that moving to a long-term care facility is in their best interest?

Tips from the Experts

When it comes to moving elderly parents and broaching the ‘retirement community’ or ‘assisted living community” conversation, experts like Stella Henry, R.N., author of The Eldercare Handbook  (HarperCollins, 2006) say “this is probably one of the hardest decisions a child will ever have to make.” Henry, an eldercare specialist who has been featured in Time, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, says many seniors “unrealistically believe they can take care of themselves for the rest of their lives.” And that’s where their children or other family members can be instrumental in identifying the problem and instigating change.

No matter what the age of your parent, Henry and other experts say now is the time to begin communicating about the future. If you open the lines of communication early on, she says, words like “retirement home” lose their sting later on. That’s important, considering that most of Henry’s clients approach her with little communication groundwork laid.

“Ninety-five percent of my clients come to me in crisis situations,” says Henry. The result? Confused elders, disorganized yet well-meaning children, and a family in chaos.

The Importance of Regular Conversations

Avoid these unnecessary results by having regular conversations with your parent about what the future holds. “Make it your problem instead of your parent’s problem,” adds Henry. “If you say ‘you have to do this, or do that, ‘you’ll lose them. Instead say something like, ‘Mom, I’m concerned about you; it makes me worried to see you like this.'”

That’s the approach Gail Wilson ended up taking with her mother. After sharing her serious concerns about her mother’s health and safety, the elderly woman slowly came around. “She finally said yes,” says Gail

According to Henry, nine out of ten parents don’t want to burden their children, and they will often respond to this sort of honest communication. “Parents sometimes hide things from their adult children because they don’t want to scare them,” she says. Yet, if you show them that you are trying to be their advocate, adds Henry, and that you are genuinely concerned about their wellbeing, it can make all the difference.

Managing Resistant Parents

Barry Jacobs, PsyD, a psychologist who has counseled many people in the situation of moving elderly parents, knows how difficult it can be when a parent in need of aging parent care refuses to leave his or her home. While he’s quick to say there are no magic strategies or tricks for persuading an elder to move, he suggests that adult children ask their parent to “indulge” them by visiting a retirement community.

“Most of us are more likely to change our position and lifestyle if such a transformation is of our own choosing,” writes Jacobs in his book, The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers  (Guilford Press, 2006). “Placed under duress to change, we typically resist, regardless of the soundness of the other person’s arguments.”

And when a parent continually refuses to entertain the idea of moving? “The child needs to back off for the time being,” advises Jacobs. But don’t give up, he adds, “seek other openings to raise the issue again.” Working with the experienced staff at Credit River Retirement, you’ll quickly find that they come up with many positive and creative ways to help you get your parents in for a visit. This will allow them to see and experience what retirement living can be like. It will quickly dispel them from the fear of living in a ‘nursing home’ that they once knew of, and replace it with a vision of themselves living their next chapter in a luxury, all-inclusive condo!

“What I tell adult children is that, unfortunately, sometimes things have to get worse to get better,” he says. “It may take the parent falling or being spooked by burglars or having the electricity turned off because he forgot to pay the bills for the realization to dawn that the parent can no longer safely reside in the home. Even then, it may take the strong urgings of health care providers and extended family members for the parent to accept the inevitable.”

If the parent begins to show signs of warming up to the topic, “the child needs to emphasize the parent’s right of self-determination but also urge action,” adds Jacobs. He suggests structuring the conversation in the following way: “Tell your parent: ‘I can’t make decisions about how you should run your life. It would make me feel better, though, if we could go together to look at some possible assisted living facilities so that you’re better informed about what choices are available. Would you be willing to humor me in that way?'”

If there is a willingness on the parent’s part to visit a Retirement community, says Jacobs, “the child should proceed post-haste to set up visits at local facilities and point out that most of these facilities will allow an aged individual to try living in them for a week or a month before the person has to decide whether to sell his house and stay in the facility or return home.” Experts say that can be the extra bit of comfort that can make the difference for many hesitant seniors.

Forming a Caregiving Team

“Caregiving is a family affair,” says Henry. That’s even more reason to gather your brothers, sisters, children and uncles and aunts together to address an ailing loved ones needs. “Have a meeting and discuss the problem, without the parent present,” says Henry.

For families who have geographic barriers, the caring team at Credit River Retirement are professional experts available to guide a family through the transition’s emotional and physical aspects.

Power of Attorney

Important items to address include financial issues and who will act as the elder’s durable power of attorney for health care. “One of the most important things is to decide who will make the critical decisions,” says Henry. Though she recommends a family approach to aging parent care, she recommends that one capable person be appointed as the elder’s primary advocate. This person, whether a son or daughter or adult grandchild, should be in charge of financial decisions and act as the elder’s durable power of attorney for health care.

Making Sure all Siblings are on the Same Page

When it comes to approaching a parent about making a move, Jacobs says it’s vital that all siblings and family members are on the same page. “It’s crucial that all the adult siblings are giving their parent the same general message,” he says. “It often only takes one disgruntled child who urges the parent to stay in his home to make placement nearly impossible.” The staff at Credit River will be an extension of your family and your team, to help support you in moving your parents in.

Avoid Extraneous “Luggage” 

“When families get together, there can sometimes be personal “luggage” brought to the table,” Henry cautions. She says it’s best to avoid unnecessary confrontation or sensitive family subjects, for the good of the parent. “These can be emotionally charged issues,” she says. “But remember, it’s not about your issue, it’s about what’s best for your parent.”

Dealing with the Guilt

No matter how smoothly the process goes, children often retain guilt about moving elderly parents to a long-term care facility. Jacobs cautions against that. “What I point out to adult children is that, regardless of whether they promised to never put a parent in a nursing home, the decision about placement must be based on what’s best for the parent at a given time,” he says.

“Often, putting a parent in a nursing home is the most loving act that a child can do because it improves the quality of the parent’s life from medical and social perspectives,” Jacobs continues. “Nursing homes vary in quality but are not snake pits. Parents often thrive in them, to their great surprise.”

While Gail admits she had moments when she questioned her decision, she eventually felt peace about her mother’s move, knowing it was the right decision. After two and a half years in the facility, her mother passed away at the age of 91. She credits the residence for making her mother’s final years the best they could be. “I felt like it extended her life,” she remembers. “She was cared for and watched over. Finding the right facility is so important, and we were lucky.”

The awesome Memory Care team at Credit River Retirement, are keen on keeping these residents brains boosted!!

Not only is doing crossword puzzles and other brain games excellent for socializing, they are also being looked upon as brain boosters, even for people challenged with dementia.

See below what the Alzheimer’s Society of Ontario has to say about the positive impact crosswords, and other puzzles can have.

http://www.alzheimer.ca/en/on/Living-with-dementia/BrainBooster/Crossword

Credit River Retirement Residence was proud to be the inspiration behind one of our young staff members, writing a short editorial for the Mississauga News.

Jacob, has worked at our front desk for over year now, and has plenty of great interactions with our senior and their families. He’s everybody’s grandson!

He is taking media and entertainment at Humber College, so we thought, what better way to support our young writers first newspaper debut, than to write about our community and what he’s learned.

Jacob, was all over the idea and sat down to think about how Seniors and Millennials can close the generation gap, by what he’s seen and learned at Credit River.

Enjoy this article…his Mom sure did!!!

Seniors and Millennials are Closing the Generation Gap at Credit River Retirement!

Delirium and dementia can often be confused because both conditions can cause a person to become cognitively confused and emotionally distressed. Each typically occur when some sort of trauma has taken place within the brain. Delirium is more prevalent in the elderly population, especially those who are vulnerable due to cognitive impairment. This is because the brain’s weakened state has less power to fight off health issues that trigger delirium. A young healthy person would typically have to be under extreme conditions to become delirious.

So, What Exactly is Delirium?

Delirium is an abrupt change in the brain characterized by confusion and disrupted attention that is usually temporary. Those who experience delirium may exhibit disordered speech and in some cases, hallucinations. It is most common among hospitalized elderly and those living in senior care facilities. Delirium can stem from a combination of factors, however, some of the most common causes for older adults include the following:

• Chronic disease causing the brain to be susceptible
• Alcohol or drug abuse/withdraw
• Bacterial Infections/Sepsis (such as, UTI’s, pneumonia and skin infections)
• Certain medications
• Surgery or procedures that include anesthesia
• Severe emotional stress
• High fever
• Sleep deprivation
• Dehydration
• Poisonous substances

Delirium warning signs:

• Emotional disturbances
• Behavioral disturbances (such as hyperactivity)
• Poor thinking/cognitive skills
• Reduced awareness of his or her environment
• Hallucinations

How does it differ from Dementia?

Though delirium and dementia have similarities, delirium symptoms usually come about abruptly within a few hours or days and it isusually reversible if caught early and treated. Symptoms can fluctuate from day to day and hour to hour, being intense one moment and virtually unnoticeable the next. In contrast, dementia is a cognitive impairment that develops over a long period of time and is typically irreversible. These are two of the major differentiating factors between delirium and dementia, who’s symptoms do not typically “vanish” (though they can fluctuate).

Because both dementia and delirium can show themselves through mental confusion and behavioral changes, it can sometimes be difficult to notice in cases where the person already has dementia. One of the tell-tale signs that someone with dementia has delirium is if their confusion and or behavior seems to be troubling them twice as much as usual. A seemingly healthy adult can also experience delirium, though it is less common. Delirium can be a warning sign that other health issues are present.

Why is it important to know the difference?

Differentiating delirium from dementia can be critical in caring for an older adult. Your resident or loved one may have a medical emergency that needs immediate attention. Untreated delirium can lead to permanent problems and in some cases be fatal. Contact a health care provider immediately if you suspect your loved one is experiencing delirium or exhibiting signs of dementia.

We know that creating meaningful activities lifts spirits, enhances mood and provides several mental health benefits. Maintaining a sense of purpose and self-reliance is very important to seniors even when they are in need of caregiving due to dementia or major physical limitations. We know we have the ability to help provide meaningful moments that can change their lives as well as ours.

Create Meaningful Activities by Mixing It Up

Doing a variety of meaningful activities with seniors is important even if they may not remember what they did the day before. Seniors with dementia live moment to moment and the right activities can greatly benefit their body and mental health. Those happy moments do stay with them, helping to shape their future days. Plus, we can hold the details of those meaningful times shared together for all of us.

Below are target areas where we engage our residents whole self. 

• Socialization. Group activities and outings are great ways to promote socialization. Even when a resident or family member does not actively engage, just being in the presence of others can be beneficial to their wellbeing.
• Mental Stimulation. Games are a great way to stimulate the mind. A favorite among many seniors with dementia is reciting old sayings. Begin a phrase such as, “Never judge a book by…”, and allow them to finish, “its cover”. Games like these also boost self-esteem and can bring smiles and laughter to the both of you.
• Physical Exercise. Each person will have a different idea of what’s meaningful to them when it comes to exercise. Some enjoy raking as they listen to the sounds of the prongs gathering crunchy brown leaves while others get their hearts pumping with aerobics and Elvis tunes! Find out what get them going and incorporate that in to a physical activity.
• Sensory Stimulation. Engage the senses with pleasing sounds, aromas, soft fabrics, cooking and baking, or sights apart from what’s seen on a daily basis.
• Creativity. Nourish their creative side through arts and crafts. Remember to modify accordingly and focus on having fun in the moment not the just end result.
• Emotional Enhancement. One of the most meaningful activities you can do is one-on-one time with each other. Try reminiscing or talking about feel good subjects.
• Spiritual Nourishment. Spiritual activities vary depending on each person’s beliefs. Whether it’s having a church song sing-a-long or sitting quietly on a bench enjoying mother nature, find what nourishes his or her soul and help make it possible.
• Cultural Celebrations. Holidays and other celebrations can bring back familiar and comforting decor, music, food and fun.
• Productivity. The feeling of losing purpose is very common among seniors who have dementia. We design activities based on reestablishing old routines so our residents can feel productive, useful and needed again. This could include things like laundry folding, and helping with baking.

An activity may be a hit one day and unsuccessful the next. We aren’t discouraged, if something doesn’t work out in the moment. We can always try again another time and move on to something else in the meantime.

Do you have a favorite meaningful activity?

Share an activity that you and your loved one enjoy in the comments below!

Credit River Retirement in Mississauga is working with our local elementary school, St Joseph’s to develop a program called Seniors for Kids, who’s first model was set up in Alberta.

After our first meeting at Erin Mills Connects meeting, the Principal of St Josephs and their teaching staff all agreed that there would be some wonderful benefits of putting together their students, and our residents. Seniors become mentors or “school grandparents” to young students by giving of themselves in a non-judgmental way, providing unconditional attention with a desire to encourage young people to reach their full potential. These relationships could be crucial especially for young people who don’t have the support of a family at home, or feel that they have no one to talk to.

Seniors and students will be given the opportunity to enjoy sharing their experiences, talents and skills, and fun with each other. Students get to share their thoughts and feelings with an older adult if they wish, which often helps them learn how to cope with their youthful day-to-day happenings.

Everyone benefits: the seniors, the youth, their families and the community.

Many of us spend lots of time buying a new car, booking a holiday or searching for a financial advisor.  The same should apply when you are considering a move into a retirement residence.

Moving into a retirement residence is a major lifestyle change and requires as much thought and planning as any other important decision in your life.  If you have the time, it’s best to consider your needs while you are still healthy and focused on task.

There are considerable choices in the marketplace and every home has a different character and community.  Most retirement residences have a designated sales person who would be happy to show you around, answer your questions and provide you with a brochure for future reference.  A walk-through of three different properties will help you define your needs and narrow down your choices.

If you invest your time wisely and do your homework, you will eventually reach a decision that is comfortable and remarkably easy to accept.  Then, when it’s time to act, you will have a clear plan in place and the stress of changing your address will be more easily managed.

Paul Pinkus
General Manager, Canterbury Place
VERVE Senior Living

Go4Life, an exercise and physical activity campaign from the National Institute on Aging at NIH, is designed to help seniors fit exercise and physical activity into their daily life. Verve has recently launched its Go4Life Walking Club and Week 1 was an overwhelming success!

On Day One of the launch there were 274 participants who walked a total of 639,092 steps, over half a million steps were walked to wellness! Incredible!! The first 30 residents that signed up received Go4Life t-shirts and all have pedometers to use on walking days or anytime they wish.

Who would think walking could be so great? Bringing programs to our residents that bring them a better quality of life is why we all do what we do.

 

Hudson Manor‘s residents donated 13 blankets for the Tilbury Youth Group to create baskets for young adults that are ready to move out on their own. Kim from “Get Away and Experience Ashley’s Place” helped organize & put together baskets needed for the organization.