Family is a wonderful but complicated, oftentimes challenging yet rewarding effort. When we’re young, we rely on our parents for…everything! How to be in the world, food, shelter. As we grow and find our own way, sometimes starting families of our own, we carry those intrinsic lessons and memories with us which develop into our own parental methods. Then one strange day comes that point when—and often while still raising our children—we suddenly have to “raise our parents”, as well. With age comes health issues, and sometimes mental complications as cognitive functioning begins to diminish, and there we are, sandwiched right in between; adults looking after our older loved ones and children simultaneously.
It’s a whole new level of complications and challenges: healthcare for multiple generations, both child and senior care options, financial abilities and decisions. Navigating self-care and stress can become tricky for the generation caught in between. But there are also undeniably important rewards. That time spent on intergenerational bonding, in some situations under the same roof, is priceless. Grandparents have the opportunity to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives in a meaningful way. And in every difficult moment along the journey as our inner strength is tested, and we find out just what we’re made of. And it makes us resilient.
How to turn challenges into strength while looking after our senior loved ones as the sandwich generation
Managing the physical, emotional, and financial responsibilities as suddenly the only “adult-seeming” person in the generational hierarchy requires the full scope of humanity: Adaptability, compassion, empathy, resilience, grace, determination, an appreciation of both the precious and the extremely challenging moments, along with a healthy dose of love. Sometimes, simply a healthy sense of humour helps, too.
It’s a sacrifice, but one when handled with care and forethought, can be sustainable even through the challenges by keeping the following things in mind:
- Be constantly mindful of stress levels! Recognizing your triggers and both finding and making time for yourself whether it’s daily exercise, meditation, or time with friends, is extremely important to avoid burnout. Prioritize eating right and getting enough sleep! Do not be afraid to ask for help, seek professional help, or even say “no” if you have to! It’s all part of the balancing act and because everyone’s journey is so different, consider it all normal.
- Having a solid support network is crucial. From community groups and support services to helplines, regular childcare, respite stays for the older generation, and friends and family—community is everything.
- Financial planning. The cost of living is high for anybody right now. A household with multiple generations under one roof, even more so. Speak to a financial advisor if you’re feeling overwhelmed, and research all of the Canada Child Tax Benefits, Canada Caregiving Credits, family insurance, workplace leaves and support systems, as well as subsidies. It might take an initial time investment to research but will be financially worth it in the long run.
While each generation has a unique set of needs, the time spent together fostering stronger family bonds is immeasurably beneficial to everyone. Being such a strong family unit isn’t without challenges, but the resilience built will benefit you, as well as your children and through them, generations to come.
